


Only evidence they have

by LaurelSilver



Series: Victimised [8]
Category: Hollywood Undead (Band)
Genre: Actually contains main plot, Cops, Gen, HUappreciationmonth, Marijuana, Mostly Dialogue, not gory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 20:12:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15178436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaurelSilver/pseuds/LaurelSilver
Summary: "The only evidence they have is a police sketch of my mask."Charlie Scene, City.Not a gory one, mostly dialogue.





	Only evidence they have

**Author's Note:**

> Names are useful:  
> Johnny is Johnny 3 Tears  
> Dylan is Funny Man  
> Jorel is J-Dog  
> Danny is Danny  
> Charlie is Charlie Scene  
> Matty is Da Kurlzz  
> Victim is anyone you want it to be. Anyone at all, they're in for about three sentences. Gender doesn't matter, Victim is referred to by it/its pronoun.
> 
> Just to be clear; this isn't a gory story. If that's what you're here for, I'm sorry to disappoint.  
> Inspired by [#HUappreciationmonth](http://tetsu-hime.tumblr.com/post/175447241337/well-you-guys-seemed-to-like-the-idea-so-lets) started on the blue hellsite (tumblr). [Week 1 is about visual symbols of the band](http://tetsu-hime.tumblr.com/post/175478889282/about-the-challenge-week-1-the-only-evidence), so masks/dove&grenade/tattoos. Or I guess I could just take the lyric dropped in the post and do some flashfiction based on that, that works too, right?

The men passed the photographs between them, muttering and whispering to each other. The officer sipped his coffee and waited.

It was Johnny who gathered them up and handed them back to the officer. “Don’t sound like we know any of them.”

“Not even one?” the officer said.

“I think that one with the purple hair sold me weed once,” Dylan said.

“What about these?” the officer passed Johnny a second set of pictures.

Johnny spread them out on the table in front of him like a card deck. The pictures were drawn, shaded dark. Six of them, men in masks lined up.

“I’ve seen better fan art by goddamned infants,” Jorel said.

“This aint fan art,” Dylan said, “The masks are plain. Plain blue, plain black, plain **yellow**.”

“They’re police sketches,” the officer said.

“Of who, exactly?” Jorel said.

“Multiple eyewitness accounts of the kidnappers.”

“We ain’t seen no guys running ‘round like its the fucking Purge neither,” Dylan said.

“No, but if anyone around here’s known for running around in masks it’s Hollywood Undead.”

“Hey! We ain’t the only edgy weirdos around here!”

“Sir, are you high?”

“Yeah, mans.”

“Alright, sir. This is simply a lead we have to chase.”

“What?” Johnny said, “Bunch of rockers wear masks, so they gotta be criminals?”

“The colours are rather coincidental-”

“They’re colours. There’s a limited number of colours you can put on a mask.”

“And with your reputations-”

“For **what**? Drinking? Being in and out of rehab like its a second fucking home?”

“It’s simply a lead we have to chase.”

“So here you are, chasing it nowhere.”

“Sir, we have to cover all possible leads. Leave no stone unturned.”

“Yeah, we’ve heard it all before, kid. Ain’t you a little young to be chasing shit by yourself?”

“I’m just that good.”

“Or they know this lead is a crock of shit, kid. You’re doing the barrel-scraping here.”

“Don’t be mean, Johnny,” Danny said, “He’s doing his best.”

“I’m simply investigating a possible scenario,” the officer said.

“What?” Jorel said, “That we go around in shitty versions of our own masks, kidnapping people? For what?”

“We’re still investigating that.”

“Some job you’re doing of it.”

The officer sipped his coffee.

“Is that all, officer?” Charlie said, “I wanna get shitfaced and it’s a little weird doing that with a cop in my house.”

“I’m going to need alibis for yourself and Mister Three over here for yesterday evening.”

“We were in the studio,” Johnny said, “Danny here put a picture of us all on Instagram while we were there.”

“It was a long night,” Danny said, “Gotta work hard when you’re your own boss.”

“Worst boss I ever fucking had.”

Charlie chuckled.

“Just one more time,” the officer handed a photograph back across, a recently-taken selfie. “None of you recognise this person.”

“No, sir,” Jorel said. The others shook their heads.

“If you wouldn’t mind, Mr Scene, I’d like to leave this copy here. We have a digital copy at the station.

“Sure,” Charlie said, “Uh, I’ll call the station if anything gets jogged, y’know.”

“I’d appreciate it.” The officer stood and put his cap back on. “Then I’ll say good evening, gentlemen. Enjoy your drinks, don’t go too crazy.”

“Sure thing officer.”

“You want your sketches back?” Jorel said.

“Keep them. Hang them up with the rest of your fan art.”

Dylan whistled low.

Charlie led the officer out with a polite “Thank you for your service,” and closed the door behind him.

Jorel laughed from the kitchen. He held the blue mask sketch up next to Johnny.

“It’s not a bad artist, you’ve got to admit,” Danny said, “There’s just not a lot of for them to draw, I guess.”

“They look like potatoes on shoulders,” Jorel said.

“Don’t be mean.”

Charlie picked the black bandanna sketch up and studied it as he went to the fridge. “They’re not gonna get very far with this shit, are they?”

“No, but its further than we thought they were,” Dylan said.

“Nah, man,” Johnny said, “That kid? Rookie. Literal fucking rookie.”

Charlie took Matty’s open can from the fridge. “They’re still further than we’d thought.”

“This kid is chasing up a weak fucking hunch in the hopes of being some hero. He was hoping we’d admit to something, so he could go down as the bad-ass that caught the Undead. He came here at the beginning of his graveyard shift without telling anybody, and now he’s gonna slink back to the station with his tail between his legs. He’ll print out fresh copies of the pictures and give ‘em to whoever the Captain tells him to to cover up the fact he printed a bunch out. He’s failed at his little CSI dream, and now he’s never gonna tell a soul.”

“You sound pretty sure of that,” Danny said. He sat on the floor and took Matty’s beer.

“That’s because I **am** pretty damn sure of that,” Johnny said. “You gotta admit, this whole thing is crazy. No one’s going to piece this together. Only a starstruck rookie’s gonna think of this kind of crazy shit.”

“And the starstruck rookies get struck right down,” Jorel said.

“Exactly. We’re almost safer now. Rookie’s never gonna bring this up again, if he even mentioned it in the first place. We’re good for a couple of months at least.”

“You hear that?” Danny opened the cupboard, “That’s plenty long enough!”

“Just give me my beer back, man,” Matty said.

“Swap?”

“Fine by me.”

“You hear that guy from in there?” Charlie said.

“Oh yeah. ‘We have to chase every lead, Mr Scene’,” Matty said. He pulled himself out from the cupboard, Victim still curled in his lap. “‘Hang it with the rest, Mr Three’. What a little bitch.”

Victim screamed against its duct tape. Danny pulled his arms tight around Victim and cuddled it close, stretching up to pass Matty his beer.

“Okay, now what have you fuckers done to it?” Matty said, sniffing the can.

“Nothing!” Charlie said, “Would we do that to you?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, yes, but we didn’t this time.”

“Charles.”

“He didn’t, dude,” Dylan said, “I watched.”

Matty took a sip and nodded. “Safe.”

“Have a little faith in me, man,” Charlie said.

Danny held the photograph of the latest missing person up next to Victim’s face. “Let’s see, we got the nose… the hair… the pretty eyes… I think this is the one guys!”

“Was there anyone in the pile we **didn’t** know?” Dylan said.

“I didn’t recognise the one with the shitty wig on,” Johnny said.

“Doe-eye,” Charlie said.

“They’re still looking for Doe-eye?” Matty said.

“Looks like it. And this one here.” Charlie patted Victim on the head.

Victim screamed and struggled, beating its tape-bound hands against Danny’s chest. Matty leant on its back and kissed its shoulder.

“They’re not gonna take you away from us, baby,” Matty said, “Don’t worry, we scared him off.”

Victim cried into the gag as Danny kissed along its jaw.

**Author's Note:**

> What else are you gonna do when you've kidnapped someone and the cops show up? Like, realistically?  
> Basically, the guys pull together to torture/kill/etc people. They kidnap people wearing, as mentioned above, shitty plain-coloured masks. If a cop _does_ make the connection, they sit there and call it ridiculous. That was Jorel's idea specificllly.  
>  Uploading pictures taken earlier while kidnapping someone to make it look like they were out drinking or in the studio was Johnny's idea.  
> Shoving Matty in a ~~closet~~ cupboard was Charlie's idea.
> 
> Some sort of au-building for the Victimised series. I am working on a longer fic with all the guys, but I am struggling a bit. Bear with me, writing is hard.


End file.
